Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
