Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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