How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
