She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you had me at cake vodka
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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