I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
