I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
