When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
