I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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