FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize