I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
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Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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