Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
