He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
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So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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