the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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