my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
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For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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