mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Floor bacon is actually really good
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
