Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
