Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
