you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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