Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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