can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
