dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
