so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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