I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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