Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
