There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
