when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
