If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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