I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have already put on my inside pants.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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