I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
