so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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