oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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