just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
