she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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