he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
