she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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