you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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