Screwed.edu
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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