I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
