yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
