If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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