Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
