you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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