You're my little dorito
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
