Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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