And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
