She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
