it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
