Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize