I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
