we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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