I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
