yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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