I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
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