1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
