You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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