Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
