Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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