I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
