i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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