Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
